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It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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