ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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