why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
operation have a gay friend backfired
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize