we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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