I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need water and some morals
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
