Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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