Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
