Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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