This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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