I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
