Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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