Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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