hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just found puke in my bra..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
