He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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