I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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