No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
