I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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