So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
