What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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