he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
