Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
