I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
