You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
