I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
