U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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