We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
kristin has been a bad kristin
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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