Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
