So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
