The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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