found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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