Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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