Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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