I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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