you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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