She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
