Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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