After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
