I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
