Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
