After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Ladies don't puke and tell
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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