Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
