Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
