You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
