I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize