She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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