my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
