Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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