i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You don't make any sense
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