Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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