mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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