he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
