No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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