So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
