Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
