I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize