And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
