Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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