I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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