Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
