just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize