Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
